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River Fishing >> Steelhead and Salmon Fishing  

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Dances
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How to tell if you are a cracker
      #82664 - 11/05/03 06:41 PM

3rivr acutly came up with this one

1st, there is at least one cracker on every river every day. If you look for him but dont see him...its you.

2nd, If your definition of side drifting involves pulling a cooler full of beer on an inner tube beside your boat, you might be a cracker.

Dances

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dances]
      #82672 - 11/05/03 06:50 PM

"If you look for him but dont see him...its you. "

That's hilarious!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: DanS]
      #82686 - 11/05/03 07:14 PM

if you ask a snagger what color he is using you might be a cracker


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82687 - 11/05/03 07:16 PM

if your reeling a spinning reel backwards and upside down you might be a cracker!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82688 - 11/05/03 07:17 PM

if you still buy pre tied leaders you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82690 - 11/05/03 07:22 PM

Heres one I saw alot this year. If you bring a trout net salmon fishing you might be a cracker. Especially to a pier where ypou need long handle. Why even walk out with it?

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82694 - 11/05/03 07:57 PM

If you have to ask someone what kind of fish you just cought.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: petrel]
      #82698 - 11/05/03 08:21 PM

If you can't spell caught Just funning with ya Petrel

If you bring more beer than gear, you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: petrel]
      #82699 - 11/05/03 08:21 PM

LOL. Damned Micro, I'm crying here. Almost EVERYTHING you mentioned reminds me of my Dad's friend from long ago. This guy STILL does that. I finally fished with him a couple weeks ago. I found out why my Dad rarely ever invites him to go. Upside down spinning reel and everything. Too funny.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Steelheader69]
      #82701 - 11/05/03 08:36 PM

Guess I should start using spell checker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: petrel]
      #82704 - 11/05/03 09:26 PM

If you try to net a fish in shallow water with a perfectly good bank to land it on you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82705 - 11/05/03 09:28 PM

If you play a fish for a half hour then finally realize your snagged on the botom or some line you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82706 - 11/05/03 09:30 PM

If you keep a dark fish and the words its good for the smoker come out of your mouth you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82707 - 11/05/03 09:31 PM

If you freeze your eggs before curing them you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82708 - 11/05/03 09:33 PM

If your floating herring for salmon in the salt and your using bouy ten you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82709 - 11/05/03 09:35 PM

Heres a popular one this year. If you catch a salmon in the salt then proceed to brag about it having sea lice you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82710 - 11/05/03 09:37 PM

If you take your boat out in the salt and head straight for a bankie spot or fishing pier you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82711 - 11/05/03 09:39 PM

Not sure if I missed this one above. But......

If you insist "it's hooked in the mouth" as you drag it in by ass, you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dances]
      #82714 - 11/05/03 09:50 PM

Quote:

Dances said:
2nd, If your definition of side drifting involves pulling a cooler full of beer on an inner tube beside your boat, you might be a cracker.
Dances




... I used to hang a 6 pack in a mesh bag off my float tube... it was hell backing into the water, easy getting out though...

Quote:

buxndux said:
If you bring more beer than gear, you might be a cracker.




and a well prepared cracker at that!

I guess having a life jacket for your beer would also make you a cracker...



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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Mad_Catter]
      #82719 - 11/05/03 11:31 PM

oh no if you have life jackets for your beer your definetly a seasoned pro!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82725 - 11/06/03 02:11 AM

if your baitcaster is on a spinning rod you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: bighoof]
      #82730 - 11/06/03 03:37 AM

If your using a salt water rod/reel in fresh water, you might be a cracker.

If your carrying a lawn chair, you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Trouthead]
      #82734 - 11/06/03 04:15 AM

MMMMM Snow Cap. Those beers kick ass.

If ya got yer clicker on ya might be a cracka.


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: KNOPHISH]
      #82750 - 11/06/03 07:10 AM

If your barking at everyone to get out of the water, so you can net your girlfriends snagged humpy, you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Redhook]
      #82752 - 11/06/03 07:17 AM

lol you guys are killin me keep them comming
Dances

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dances]
      #82759 - 11/06/03 08:28 AM

If you chew anything other than copenhagen while you're fishing, you might be a cracker

--------------------
It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming. ~John Steinbeck



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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: winterchrome]
      #82760 - 11/06/03 08:49 AM

Quote:

Joshua said:
If you chew anything other than copenhagen while you're fishing, you might be a cracker




Your kidding right? I refuse to pay 8 bucks a tin? I no cracker, me smart!

--------------------
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Born2Bonk]
      #82763 - 11/06/03 08:58 AM

If you wear a bright yellow raincoat with CRACKER on the back you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dances]
      #82765 - 11/06/03 08:59 AM

If you show up wearing sandals for a drift boat trip in December you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dances]
      #82766 - 11/06/03 09:00 AM

If you leave the keys for the turnaround rig in the truck at the top you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dances]
      #82767 - 11/06/03 09:01 AM

Eagle Claw = Cracker = Brewer

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Born2Bonk]
      #82818 - 11/06/03 12:49 PM

If you chew anything other than copenhagen while you're fishing, you might be a cracker




Your kidding right? I refuse to pay 8 bucks a tin? I no cracker, me smart!



Hit the REZ and it's under 4 bucks ya cracker!

--------------------
It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming. ~John Steinbeck



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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #82826 - 11/06/03 02:14 PM

those are so funny keep "um' coming. i loved the beer bottle life vest 'classic'..
rg out

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A few from the Snagly archives new [Re: GutZ]
      #82827 - 11/06/03 02:21 PM

Taking your rig that's parked on the shoulder and, instead of doing a 3-point turn, trying to U-turn on adjacent grass and getting stuck. Then, after putting the rig into 4WD low to get out of the mud being unable to get back into 2WD for the highway drive 10 miles back to the motel . . . maxing out at 40 mph.

Oh, and earlier in the day saying, "I'm on!" and ferociously battling another fisherman's line (who is across the river from you) for about 20 seconds until . . . until . . . something doesn't feel right.

Leaving at O'Dark hundred on the last day of the trip and driving 15 miles to the river to discover . . . oops, I left my fishing vest (and license!) in the motel . . . .

Not having a pair of pliers with you (knock on wood . . . I haven't do that yet)

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dances]
      #82830 - 11/06/03 02:48 PM

You stay up late the night before fishing to make sure you're fishing outfit matches your hat and will look good in your hero shot.

You use your feet to release fish, that being kicking them out of the sand you just dragged it up through.

You drag protected fish onto the sand and upon being chastized for mistreating the fish you say the classic "It's just going to die anyways!"

You figure the place with the most cars is the best spot on the river.

Too much fun.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Rocket Red]
      #82843 - 11/06/03 04:55 PM

brewer is sooo guilty of all these things. snagly brewer does not have 4x4... but can do a Uee in the tightest of logging roads. the oil pan is heavily dimpled. it only requires 4 quarts of oil in stead of 6.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Brewer]
      #82857 - 11/06/03 06:06 PM

Micro, you took all my ideas. I think the spinning reel on top is number one on the list of criteria.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: cupo]
      #82861 - 11/06/03 07:04 PM

You stand waist deep in the river while wearing barn boots.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: buxndux]
      #82863 - 11/06/03 07:23 PM

If your waders cost more than your fishing rod and you constantly wade where you should be fishing and fish where you should be wading, you just might be a cracker.

--------------------


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: KNOPHISH]
      #82870 - 11/06/03 08:08 PM

Quote:

KNOPHISH said:
MMMMM Snow Cap. Those beers kick ass.






they've kicked my ass on more than one occasion...

If the guy standing next to you wearing a yellow rain slicker and holding a yellow rod with the spinning reel on top catches a fish before you....

you are definately a cracker....

--------------------
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Edited by Mad_Catter (11/06/03 08:10 PM)


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: 3RivrFishr]
      #82872 - 11/06/03 08:12 PM

Quote:

3RivrFishr said:
If your waders cost more than your fishing rod and you constantly wade where you should be fishing and fish where you should be wading, you just might be a cracker.




That reminds me of this season on the puyallup.


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Neurosis]
      #82877 - 11/06/03 08:47 PM

Once heard on the Satsop 2 years ago: "Hey can we keep dogs?" Right after he'd applied wood shampoo to said doggie. Cracers rarely know the season or what they can bonk.

--------------------
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Gooose]
      #82881 - 11/06/03 09:51 PM

If you shop for your fishing tackle at Walmart WallyWorld ,you are definitely a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: avidangler]
      #82882 - 11/06/03 09:54 PM

Or wearing your freshly pressed LL bean clothing and fly fishing in an all drift fisherman line up...cracker!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #82889 - 11/06/03 11:05 PM

If salmon fishing in the rivers involves poking your rod tip into log jams to get fish out you are a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82890 - 11/06/03 11:09 PM

If you go glowballing and you shine your flashlight in the water to see if there are any fish you might be a cracker

--------------------

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #82891 - 11/06/03 11:10 PM

if you carry a creel to put your steelhead in you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #82892 - 11/06/03 11:13 PM

you fish roe without a egg loop and it flies all over the river on your cast.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82893 - 11/06/03 11:14 PM

If you walk right up wearing a jacket or hat brighter than your corkies on somebody fishing from there knees in dark clothing and ask them what there fishing for you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82894 - 11/06/03 11:15 PM

If ypou believe me when I tell you I am not catching anything you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82895 - 11/06/03 11:18 PM

If fishing with roe involves threading 20 pautzki ball of fire eggs on a 3/0 hook you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82896 - 11/06/03 11:20 PM

if you put your fish in a black plastic bag then put it in the trunk for who knows how long you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82897 - 11/06/03 11:22 PM

If you try to smoke you catch in the kitchen oven you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82903 - 11/06/03 11:36 PM

If you start down river as soon as you hook a fish you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82904 - 11/06/03 11:39 PM

If you wade into a river a five year old could cast across you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82905 - 11/06/03 11:41 PM

If you lures consistantly end up in power lines or over hanging trees you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82906 - 11/06/03 11:44 PM

if planning a fishing trip involves fishing and hunting news you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82907 - 11/06/03 11:47 PM

I am just getting warmed up!
If it takes twenty tries to back your boat down the ramp you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82915 - 11/07/03 02:14 AM

If you get hung up while boondoggin, and the rock you're hung up on swims across the river as you try to bust him off, you ARE a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: AuntyM]
      #82918 - 11/07/03 02:43 AM

If your raincoat is one of those clear plastic ones...

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Stew]
      #82922 - 11/07/03 03:11 AM

Micro, you are absolutely killin' me
GutZ, The Internet Gestapo shut me off at work, I was going to use the yellow cracker jacket line!

If you are going down the river in a DB side ways, you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fish4steel]
      #82923 - 11/07/03 03:12 AM

If you take the family station wagon where a 4WD should be you might be a cracker (or a die hard)

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fish4steel]
      #82924 - 11/07/03 03:16 AM

AuntyM, I had a 10 yr old in the DB this year do exactly that! But he put the fish in the boat. Don HookEmUp was a witness. The Cracker boy outfished his dad 3 to zip in two days. No, not me, I have a daughter!


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Edited by fish4steel (11/07/03 03:17 AM)


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fish4steel]
      #82925 - 11/07/03 03:19 AM

If it takes you 30 min to land a 5 LB brat, You might be a cracker.
If you pack that brat up and down the river, You might be a cracker


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: plugger]
      #82928 - 11/07/03 03:53 AM

Plunker....unless you are a 6 year old....

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fish4steel]
      #82934 - 11/07/03 04:43 AM

If yer house has wheels on it ya might be a cracka.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: KNOPHISH]
      #82935 - 11/07/03 04:45 AM

If ya drink animal beer ya might be a cracka.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: KNOPHISH]
      #82936 - 11/07/03 04:47 AM

If yer yard has more than 5 broken down cars in it ya might be a cracka.....or a muckleshoot.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: KNOPHISH]
      #82941 - 11/07/03 05:16 AM

If you know the names of all of the Game wardens you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #82949 - 11/07/03 06:16 AM

If your spinning reel is on a casting rod, with a trigger, you might be a Cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Trouthead]
      #82951 - 11/07/03 06:49 AM

If you show up to fish around strangers on a gravel bar and are not wearing atleast hip boots YOU ARE A CRACKER.

--------------------
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Stew]
      #82953 - 11/07/03 06:51 AM

if you carry a tackle box... there is no worst give away than that. guys and their useless silver handled green bag net. you know the size. the guy who catches a steelhead and debrains it with 25 whacks using a 5lb rock.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Gooose]
      #82967 - 11/07/03 07:38 AM

Quote:

Gooose said:
Once heard on the Satsop 2 years ago: "Hey can we keep dogs?" Right after he'd applied wood shampoo to said doggie.




Classic.........wood shampoo...


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Redhook]
      #82978 - 11/07/03 08:59 AM

If hang your fish over the side of the boat and drag it around for 10 hour and wonder why the flesh is like mush.

--------------------
I am a fisherman, for life. I will always be a fisherman. It is not something I do it is who I am. Fishing is not an escape,it is where I am supposed to be. It is not a place, but a lifelong journey. It is a passage my father showed me and I will show others. When you understand all of this you will know me, and we will fish together.


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Diehard]
      #82988 - 11/07/03 09:24 AM

If you wear a garbage bag or a sheet of plastic for a raincoat

If you stand IN a couple of buckets in the river, instead of buying a set of waders

If you have all of your vehicle permit stickers from all previous years still stuck on your rear window

If you fish for bass.....(oh, uhhh wait a minute, I do that...)

Edited by Baitsoaker (11/07/03 09:26 AM)


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Baitsoaker]
      #82991 - 11/07/03 09:37 AM

Hey wait a minute! I have all the stickers on my truck, I figure I am going to wallpaper my rear windshield, and I fish for bass. That might make me a semi redneck but nut a cracker!
If going fish involves apeasing the wife first you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82993 - 11/07/03 09:41 AM

If you own a g lommis, brand new fishing vest,hi tech waders, an ll bean fishing hat, and still cant catch anything you might be a yuppie cracker!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82994 - 11/07/03 09:43 AM

If coming home to the wife from fishing involves a trip to safeway for some fish to prove you were fishing you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82995 - 11/07/03 09:45 AM

If you cut plug a herring and leave the guts in you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82996 - 11/07/03 09:50 AM

If you cant come up with why you might be a cracker you might be a cracker.


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82997 - 11/07/03 09:52 AM

If sharpening a hook involves one of them electric sharpeners you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82998 - 11/07/03 09:54 AM

If in the heat of salmon season you have to ask somebody what day it is to punch you card you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #82999 - 11/07/03 09:59 AM

"Hey wait a minute! I have all the stickers on my truck, I figure I am going to wallpaper my rear windshield, and I fish for bass. That might make me a semi redneck but nut a cracker!"

That brings up an interesting point: is there a difference between a redneck and a cracker?

As an example:

You might be a [insert here: cracker or redneck] if you're too drunk to fish.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Baitsoaker]
      #83001 - 11/07/03 10:05 AM

If you swarm to a small pool where somebody is catching fish and think that with you with your one ounce sinker 12in leader 3/0 hook ball of yarn and a king kong size corky is actually going to catch something you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83002 - 11/07/03 10:06 AM

If you stay in a hole just because you can see the fish you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83003 - 11/07/03 10:08 AM

If you get frustrated because you cant snag a fish you might be a cracker.

Its amazing how so many people skipped the trying to catch them part of fishing this year.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83004 - 11/07/03 10:10 AM

If you snag a fish and get pissed when it comes off you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83011 - 11/07/03 11:16 AM

"If you swarm to a small pool where somebody is catching fish and think that with you with your one ounce sinker 12in leader 3/0 hook ball of yarn and a king kong size corky is actually going to catch something you might be a cracker"

LOL, that reminds me of yesterday when you and me were on the zipperlip. LOL zipperlip, had to say that. But funny how many morons came running when I had that chum on. What was funnier was that none of them were catching any. And those women next to us using that 1oz pyramid sinker and those king sized corkies. That was hilarious.

Here's another one.

You have to fish a Gloomis IMX 1143 and insist on wearing simms boots, waders, and raincoat and have a William Joseph coastal pack as a vest, you may be a cracker.

Waiting for that cracker to read that one.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Born2Bonk]
      #83022 - 11/07/03 11:39 AM

You may be a cracker if you think a slot like this is a PRIME fishing spot.



This is courtesy of one of our new Great Lakes Members. LOL

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Steelheader69]
      #83029 - 11/07/03 11:52 AM

Take a look at that pic closely. It's got laughs all over the place!

--------------------
Killins my business and business is goood.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Half buzzed is just a waste of money.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew 4:19, New Internation Version


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Stew]
      #83038 - 11/07/03 12:19 PM

when you are the guy who is wearing his black plastic fish bag as a rain coat... you da cracka

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Lupo]
      #83045 - 11/07/03 01:17 PM

If your ex looks like mine...
Hope this works.
http://steelydanpics.4t.com/Pics/My%20ex-wife.jpg


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Steely Dan]
      #83078 - 11/07/03 05:20 PM

steelydan,
is that really your ex? or is that your ex, in her belly?hunka,hunka burpin love!


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: RICHARD CRANIUM]
      #83080 - 11/07/03 05:29 PM

Shake rattle and roll.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Steely Dan]
      #83083 - 11/07/03 05:56 PM

If you crank your reel while a fish is taking out line, you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: down4pound]
      #83088 - 11/07/03 06:37 PM

If you fish off a bridge...
If you float the rivers in a raft you bought at Kmart...
If you think female humpies are silvers because they have no hump...
If you think humpies and pinks are different fish...
If you have to smoke your catch just to make it edible...
you might be a cracker.

The scene in that picture must get ugly when the sleds run through.

--------------------
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #83098 - 11/07/03 07:52 PM

if you think your chest waders are to wade up to your chest,you are a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: cupo]
      #83100 - 11/07/03 07:59 PM

Bare hook...no corkie...no yarn...you are beyond cracker!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #83104 - 11/07/03 08:10 PM

If ya float the Duc, and never been, and bring your buzz bombs, and tell the bartender your a 10%er, and invite her to your cabin, in the middle of bumphawked egypt, and tell her she can bring a few friends, remember ya don't have a Harley, and they hate buzz bombs, If they make you mad enough to scream.....no one will hear it....


CRACKER

WW

--------------------
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: WoodsyWayne]
      #83106 - 11/07/03 08:22 PM

if a male chum has straighter teeth than you.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: RICHARD CRANIUM]
      #83108 - 11/07/03 08:26 PM

if you drive two hours to the river and forgot your rods.
would that be a cracker or too stoned?

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Born2Bonk]
      #83115 - 11/07/03 08:59 PM

wow, some of those guys in the river pic could cast to the other side and catch a whale!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Maltby]
      #83123 - 11/07/03 10:09 PM

great picture steelheader69!

a little bit of everything in it including the bright yellow rain jackets!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83125 - 11/07/03 10:12 PM

Hey Dan,
Let me guess, she lost to much weight so you dumped her Right?


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Steelheader69]
      #83129 - 11/07/03 10:35 PM

you might be a cracker if you post A LOT on an internet fishing forum but only fish 3-4 times a year


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishinSinsation]
      #83130 - 11/07/03 10:39 PM

Luckily, I post alot and still fish at least 20-30 times a year (well below my average) so I'm ok then.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishinSinsation]
      #83145 - 11/08/03 04:31 AM

You ARE a cracker if everytime you go fishing and actually catch a fish you post a picture, the exact river,location and time caught on an internet fishing discussion board.

--------------------


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: 3RivrFishr]
      #83165 - 11/08/03 11:20 AM

If only half of the criteria in all the responses apply does that still make you a cracker? And if after the stark realization that you might be a cracker, is there any help?

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: traditionaltom]
      #83213 - 11/08/03 06:32 PM

You might be a cracker if you use a snap swivel in you rig for other than a sinker release.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Marty]
      #83239 - 11/08/03 09:33 PM

How about if you only fish three or four holes because they have the best reception for your cell phone?
If your corkies are separated by size/color and in a separate box than your yarn?
If you think 3/0 hooks are the smallest usable for chum?
If you cast over the guy next to you, snag his line, break both, and cost him what could have been the "record" silver? And not say anything?
Instead of yelling "fish on" you yell "casting"?
If you park your boat in the middle of the channel, over the "#1 hole", and sit there for hours while bankies keep yelling at you?
If you use 12# main line and 25# leader so yo won't lose so many corkies?
Your idea of "packing out what you pack in" means leaving it where you parked? (Since it's next to the road and the road crew will get it....)
You gut and fillet your catch but leave the carcass on the bank "for the gulls".
You forget which green six foot stringer is yours.
You only carry one green six foot stringer....and try to carry out six(!) dawgs. (Saw this last weekend)
Treble hook, no yarn, one micro-corkie.
Your cell phone rings to the theme from JAWS.
Your cell phone rings, your up to your A** in the river fighting a monster silver, and you answer it anyway.
You have "bullet marks" on your chest where you've been hit by flying slinkies.
You land every fish just to check for snagged gear you can keep.
Not tying the magnet on tight enough when fishing for steelhead. Ooops, blonde joke; wrong thread.
Scooby-doo rod/reel from Kmart with vacuum handle grip; Chemical suit bottom from the Foxhole (make great waders); last year's tennis shoes instead of wading shoes; flourescent pink 6# line; 3/0 Gama hook, 4" green phospherous yarn, 6 extra large glow in the dark corkies, 8' 25# leader. Wait, that's my brother in law.
And, finally, pulling the "key" from the pop can to make a spinner.

--------------------
Chaos, panic and disorder. My life is now complete.
There are 3 kinds of fishermen: Those who learn by reading; those who learn by observing; and the other 98% who have to pee on the electric fence themselves.


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Born2Bonk]
      #83278 - 11/09/03 07:27 AM

I see yellar rain coats. How do we get there?

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Trouthead]
      #83285 - 11/09/03 07:40 AM

Spongebob Squarepants is your mentor

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Steely Dan]
      #83291 - 11/09/03 08:09 AM

Quote:

Steely Dan said:
If your ex looks like mine...
Hope this works.
http://steelydanpics.4t.com/Pics/My%20ex-wife.jpg




God im going to regret saying this, but I need a pair of those to hold my drink!


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Neurosis]
      #83314 - 11/09/03 11:23 AM

You cut open a buck to get her eggs,and it shoots milt all over your waders

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: avidangler]
      #83316 - 11/09/03 11:24 AM

If you use spiderwire you're a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: avidangler]
      #83319 - 11/09/03 11:27 AM

If you snag the guys line across the river from you,and he has to freespool because you don't have enough line to feed him to unhook,you're a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: avidangler]
      #83320 - 11/09/03 11:29 AM

If you let your 18 foot leader sit downstream from you for five minutes and hook the guy ten guys down from you and blame him for "snagging your line",you're a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: avidangler]
      #83321 - 11/09/03 11:32 AM

If you like my avatar,you're a cracker....Nah!!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: avidangler]
      #83326 - 11/09/03 11:50 AM

If you use danielsn line because it only cost a dollar. you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83327 - 11/09/03 11:52 AM

If you use that danielson line till theres is hardly any left on your spool you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83328 - 11/09/03 11:53 AM

If you get lucky and find out about a zipper then proceed to tell everybody you know or dont know about it you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83330 - 11/09/03 11:54 AM

If you buy spoon blanks and rig them backwards you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83331 - 11/09/03 11:57 AM

if you walk in on a group of people drifting eggs and proceed to throw a bobber and something out you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83366 - 11/09/03 04:10 PM

If you insist on using Britney Spears for your avatar...

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #83426 - 11/09/03 07:21 PM

If you can come up with more than two or three reasons why "you might be a cracker" off the top of your head, then you might be a cracker. LOL Micro.

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Re:What can I say..... new [Re: eyegouger]
      #83430 - 11/09/03 07:45 PM

....It's the most recent self portrait I could find(read,cracker).-AA

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: bugnuts]
      #83442 - 11/09/03 08:22 PM

If you fish from a boat launch and then bitch at the people in boats for running over your line...

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: cupo]
      #83467 - 11/09/03 10:16 PM

oh ya, thats a good one!

A guy got pissed at me once cause I backed my boat down the launch a hit his beer which he would not move, almost got his tackle box too. He proceeded to say you dumb mother f, I interrupted him when I stepped out of my truck. He almost turned white and shut up real quick. I didnt think I was that ugly.


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83496 - 11/10/03 05:29 AM

If you have snagged more fish than you have teeth ya might be a cracka.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: KNOPHISH]
      #83521 - 11/10/03 09:19 AM

If you use 30# braid at Riter to bobber fish jigs
If your the moron always tangled with somebody in a crowd
You get your reports for the HOT SPOT from fishen & hunten news
You do repairs on your boat at the boat ramp
You see a fish caught then your casting over the person Who caught it
You go fishen new water before reading the regs.
every cast ends in a jerk
you use 50# leaders for chums
Buzz bomb is your go to lure
you eves drop on other fishermen,then ask when the fish show up.
You leave what you pac in
you clean fish and leave the guts on land.
you post hero shots of dark fish.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: 98043]
      #83523 - 11/10/03 09:51 AM

Whats a "cracker" ? We do not use that term in GLs or the east.



BG

--------------------
"The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool."

Jane Wagner




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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Mad_Catter]
      #83536 - 11/10/03 10:50 AM

I really like that cuzie....
Gotta love the Winter Brews....TOP NOTCH CHOICE MY FRIEND!!


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Pack out MORE than what you pack in!!!


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: mmadlener]
      #83546 - 11/10/03 11:05 AM

You maybe a cracker if you don't know what a cracker is.
If you have to ask someone if you are a cracker, you ARE a cracker.
If you leave a cracker in the rain it will get wet and soggy cause it left its raincoat in the pickup.


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It's better to have friends with boats!
**GutZ**


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #83693 - 11/10/03 11:00 PM

If after floating down river for 3 hrs, you ask "are we back were we started yet" you are a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Muttly27]
      #83694 - 11/10/03 11:04 PM

If you still don't have an avatar after nearly a month you may be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Muttly27]
      #83696 - 11/10/03 11:09 PM

If you ask "do all the sockeye come back to spawn, or is it just the males?" you are a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Muttly27]
      #83697 - 11/10/03 11:16 PM

If you ask "how far down does the anchor go?" you are a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Muttly27]
      #83698 - 11/10/03 11:19 PM

if you want to leave right when the bite finaly comes on you are a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Muttly27]
      #83702 - 11/10/03 11:42 PM

You want your buddy to pull anchor and drift all the way to the takeout so you can use the state run outhouses, you may be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Steelheader69]
      #83720 - 11/11/03 04:33 AM

If you catch a fish then put an "X" on the bottom of the boat to mark the spot to fish again you might be a cracka.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: KNOPHISH]
      #83724 - 11/11/03 05:16 AM

Ok, I think I know what a "cracker" is now. LOL

Out here we call them Cletus and Clem, bubbas, deliverance boys, good old boys, local yolkels, meat fisherman, in another words people to stay far away from.

I met one salmon fishing 20 years ago in Michigan when the runs were just coming in. He asked me how I was doing and I said a couple on but lost on the fly rod. He said well as soon as night falls we will be limiting out in this pool. I said how are you going to do that.

He pulled out a stick of dynamite and grinned at me.

I made hurried escape through the dark woods.

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Edited by Black_Ghost (11/11/03 05:17 AM)


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Black_Ghost]
      #83744 - 11/11/03 08:07 AM

If you take vacation in November to target Chums......

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Led Zepfin]
      #83772 - 11/11/03 10:15 AM

You may be a cracker if you:
are named "ritz", or "grahm",
if people keep trying to put cheese or salami on you or try to stick you in their soup,
call it your pole instead of rod,
don't know the difference between a float and a bobber,
think jig fishing is some Irish technique,
if you brag about all them 'trouts' you caught on opening day,
if you brag about all the trout you caught and released while using power bait or worms...,
You think rubber soled hip boots should be used to actually wade in a river,
think you're a fishing machine when you snag and floss most of your fish,
you drag a native steelhead onto the beach, then ask "can you keep natives?"
if you don't know what an adipose fin is,
if you cast to salmon\steelhead who are on their redds, then talk about the great 'sight fishing',
if you don't know what a 'redd' is,
if you actively fish while standing in the redds,
if you THINK your fiberglass boat will be OK in this river...,
if your rig is too small for your boat,
if you think 'tailing' a fish refers to hook placement...,
if you hold your native steelhead up by the gills for a photo, then act suprised when it doesn't swim away,
if you spend more time judging others by their looks instead of actually cathing fish yourself,
if you think salmon don't bite in fresh water,
if you bring your salmon net trout fishing,
if you brag about how good you are because you caught fish while out with a guide or charter boat,
if you think 'pencil lead' is something to write with,
if you think 'women in waders' are real action shots,
if you think 'womnen in waders' are hotties...,
if you bring a cooler with ice, but don't put your fish in it because you don't want you beer to get slimy,
if you ever talk about good ole days when you used to fill up 3 bucket fulls of pan fish, but now you don't know where they all went...,
if you think 'jigging' a buzz bomb involves ripping the rod tip vertically or horizontally,then slowly lowering the rod tip, and repeating until a fish is snagged\hooked,
if you think a 'hoochie' is someone you 'visit' downtown,
...
...


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: RockHopper]
      #83775 - 11/11/03 10:32 AM

O man what have I created lol all these are good keep them comming
Dances

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dances]
      #83800 - 11/11/03 12:53 PM

Every guys that goes down below me and throws there gear right on my plugs............ Oh well thats fishin now days.

Tight lines

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Re: How to tell if you are Dirty Low Down cracker new [Re: Coho Killer]
      #83802 - 11/11/03 01:09 PM

You write articles for fishing mags that tell the: what,where when and how, about small zipper water to see your name in print.


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: RockHopper]
      #83803 - 11/11/03 01:15 PM

Quote:

if you bring a cooler with ice, but don't put your fish in it because you don't want you beer to get slimy,





Now, wait just a minute.

Does that count if you just let the fish go so there won't be any competition for the beer's ice?

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: DanS]
      #83805 - 11/11/03 01:25 PM

If your a C&R enthusiast and don't carry a clicker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Born2Bonk]
      #83809 - 11/11/03 01:44 PM

If you work at or patronize SkyValley Traders in Monroe

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: workin4fishin]
      #83813 - 11/11/03 02:44 PM

you maybe a cracker if you still haven't got your avatar to work after a month.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: 6_degree_d]
      #83849 - 11/11/03 04:33 PM

I think this is the funniest thread I have ever read. I think you guys got them all. The only one you missed might be:

You walk up to a prime piece of holding water and cast a no more than twice. Move up river and repeat.


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: 6_degree_d]
      #83954 - 11/12/03 08:38 AM

True cracker story: First names were changed to protect their privacy. LOL

From the Arkansas Democrat Gazette:

Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Cletus Johnson, 33, of Des Arc and Clem
Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip.
On an overcast Sunday night, Cletus's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Clem noticed that the 22-caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. After inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded toward the White River Bridge.
After traveling about 20 miles and Just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Cletus in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply right exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Cletus suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Clem sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and
released.

"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Cletus shot
his balls off or we might both be dead" stated Clem.

"I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the
world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Clitoris, Cletus’s wife,
asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get
them from the truck. (Way to go, Clitoris.)



BG

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Edited by Black_Ghost (11/12/03 10:09 AM)


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Black_Ghost]
      #83955 - 11/12/03 08:43 AM

fyi

Michigan sportsman site has some good Cletus and Clem stories from the book "The Fish of the Thousand Casts". Yes here in the Gls we have the same issue and sense of humor. Good winter reading, something for steelhead and deer camps around the camp fire. Check it out.

I will never be seen with a yellow rod in michigan. LOL

BG

http://www.michigan-sportsman.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=22940&highlight=cletus

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: 6_degree_d]
      #83962 - 11/12/03 09:25 AM

If you use your wheels as a billboard.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: petrel]
      #83973 - 11/12/03 10:46 AM

ok so you guys are talkin about me cuz I do all of these things so now I know for sure I am a cracker
Dances

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dances]
      #84118 - 11/12/03 10:57 PM

Your a cracker if I can out fish you Takes one to know one

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Marty]
      #84140 - 11/13/03 04:57 AM

If you get to the river, wade out to your waist & cast to the other side when you are standing right on the fish ya might be a cracka.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: KNOPHISH]
      #84168 - 11/13/03 07:07 AM

You might be a cracker if you go out fishing with marty and he out fishes you even with his yellow pole and upside down reel.
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dances]
      #84289 - 11/13/03 07:27 PM

If you get all your fishing tips from the guy at the walmart sporting goods counter...

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: cupo]
      #84376 - 11/14/03 07:55 AM

if your to proud or hoety toety to offer a beer to all the brewer clones across the u s of a, then you are a crakaw! brewer thanks all of yous who have come over to us and teached us a thang or two. next time we'll offer a tug from our md20/20 or the poncho villa clear of course, for thanks.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker *DELETED* new [Re: RockHopper]
      #84404 - 11/14/03 11:13 AM

Post deleted by GutZ

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #84408 - 11/14/03 11:30 AM

If you only fish for salmon. Nope that don't work, that makes you a snagger? Hell No.

Thinking back to my younger daze..........nope that didn't work. Can't remember.

How about if you plan your fishing trips (to small streams)on what you read on the web the day before!

DUDE, TOKUL WAS SMOKIN THIS MORNING.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: WoodsyWayne]
      #84853 - 11/16/03 05:47 PM

If you tie your leaders using an improved cinch knot, you might be a cracker.

If you use High Vis line for leader material, you might be a cracker. (Actually found one today)

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dogfish]
      #85037 - 11/17/03 06:42 PM

I was going to post that one Andy.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #85040 - 11/17/03 06:49 PM

If you carry green paint to cover the fact you cut off the adipose fin.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: christopher]
      #85214 - 11/18/03 05:04 PM

Better yet, when you have to photoshop the fin off of every photo.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Neurosis]
      #85220 - 11/18/03 05:19 PM

hey I just like to use a little white out before I scan the picture and say that there was some light reflecting off the fin
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Dances]
      #85233 - 11/18/03 05:50 PM

Then are you a "real" cracker when you use the whitout on the fish itself instead of the photo?

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Neurosis]
      #85349 - 11/19/03 09:49 AM

I just use the white out on my monitor when I look at the pictures.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: 6_degree_d]
      #85352 - 11/19/03 10:04 AM

Wait a minute. My avator would be to ugly for young tender eyes. Also, the girls in waders are not action shots? That ruins my fantasies.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Trouthead]
      #85368 - 11/19/03 11:42 AM

Umm, no, they are real action shots - I was kidding... Actually I ran into one of them last year while winter steelheading. Just about poked my eye out...

Edited by RockHopper (11/19/03 11:46 AM)


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: RockHopper]
      #85394 - 11/19/03 02:18 PM



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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Fish Jesus]
      #90045 - 12/12/03 04:57 AM

If you measure your fish like this ? LOL

http://www.steelheadsite.com/reports/michigan/messages/20442.html

In Gls cracker is AKA "red neck"



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Edited by Black_Ghost (12/12/03 04:57 AM)


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Black_Ghost]
      #90287 - 12/12/03 11:54 PM

You might be a cracker if if bobber and jig fishing involves the use of bouy ten for a float and a thin wired uncle walts crappie jig with 20 pound test on your yellow danielson trout rod and your 20 year old shakspeare closed face real.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #90288 - 12/12/03 11:57 PM

you might be a cracker if your home brew scent involves vasiline,herring and your Moms blender!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #90289 - 12/13/03 12:00 AM

you might be a cracker if you finnally catch a steelhead, put it in a black plastic bag ,store it in the trunk and fish for 5 hours trying to get another one on a hot day.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #90290 - 12/13/03 12:05 AM

you might be a cracker if you come home from fishing blue creek (the creek) with your limit and brag about how great the fish were hitting your 1/2 ounce spoon.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #90391 - 12/13/03 05:06 PM

brewer was out last week and found a total cracker, he had all symptoms but seemed to look healthy. i had to aproach and ask him if his name was brewer? he said to me that i was the second person to ask him that. made brewers day...

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #90859 - 12/15/03 10:39 PM

If your name is Ken from Curtis County Florida, your probably a cracker.

Quotes from Ken's Web Page :

"Most of my rod and reel combinations cost less than $50.00 and were bought out of department stores as a set, including the line."

"I'm convinced that the better quality reels are have a better drag system. The drag is smoother and don't jerk as the line is pulled off."

"They keep saying something like, "dad, we don't catch any fish when we go fishing."'


Hey I wonder if Woodsy Wayne fishes with this guy down there?


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #91314 - 12/18/03 06:19 AM

If your avatar starts with THE.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: rtlees]
      #91338 - 12/18/03 08:24 AM



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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: THE_PANTS]
      #91357 - 12/18/03 10:11 AM

If you bonk a dogfish on the head then think its ok to reach in its mouth to get the hook out your might be a hurtin cracker.

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micropterus101
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #91359 - 12/18/03 10:13 AM

if you think bullhead (leptocottus armatus) have poisonous spines you might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #91361 - 12/18/03 10:15 AM

If you cant get the hook out of a fishes mouth and somebody else can easily you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #91427 - 12/18/03 03:57 PM

If you have a link to "Ken's Fishing Page"......who is that guy anyway??Jon Boat = cracker. "Mom let me build my dream boat last year." = loser

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: avidangler]
      #91533 - 12/19/03 12:22 PM

This is your avatar picture

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BP
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #91545 - 12/19/03 01:49 PM

Is that your secret zipperlip spot Gutz!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: BP]
      #91546 - 12/19/03 01:55 PM

Touche!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #129725 - 08/18/04 06:19 PM

Oh My Gawd that is the funniest stuff i have ever read
rotflmao!!!!!!!!!
i have seen people with upside down coffee grinders tryin' to fight fish, it is hillarious!!!!! the picture from back east with 50 people dodging each others cast is classic, reminds me of the lagoon in brownsville,by the marina, another snagger haven,gawd that was some funny stuff!!!!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #129733 - 08/18/04 06:36 PM

Another sure sign that salmon season is here, the cracker thread has been bumped to the top. LOL

BG

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Black_Ghost]
      #129754 - 08/18/04 07:32 PM

Some threads never die. Got me wondering what could possibly be added to this one!

The reason these are funny is because there is a little cracker in all of us and we see a little (sometimes a lot) of cracker in the people around us. But face it, unless you have always been guided then at some point you have been guilty of crackerism in some form or other. There are red-neck crackers who are as proud of their crackerism as they are of their redneckism...and thats ok. Both are charming in a disturbing, Deliverance kind of way. There are yuppie crackers who are the funniest in my mind because they believe they are the coolest thing the fishies have ever seen. Then there are the know-it-all crackers. These pathetic bass terds are perhaps the most hopeless of all because they wont learn from their mistakes or take any advice. The know it all cracker will stand there and tell you your leader is too short while he is fishing with a yella spinnin rod, held upside down with a float the size of a trident submarine and an 8 oz jig tied to 40 lb.mono.

And lastly,there crackers like me. Im the guy who denies being one but deep down inside wishes for those simpler times when I was learning, sitting on a bucket full of worthless tackle and wondering why everyone else catches fish but me.

Thank God for Crackers

--------------------


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: 3RivrFishr]
      #129819 - 08/18/04 10:22 PM

Amen 3RF

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: elwoodp]
      #129835 - 08/18/04 11:05 PM

You might be a cracker if you bass fish.

You might be a cracker if you you think salmon don't bite flies.

You might be a cracker if you think all flies are supposed to float.

You might be a cracker if you think all flies represent actual flies.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Fishingjunky15]
      #129843 - 08/18/04 11:39 PM

You might be a cracker if....
you post about how great the fishing is in a closed river.

Cough PUY cough hm...hmmm excuse me.

PS, if you have posted on this thread more than 3 times you are a cracka in the closet.


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Ryley]
      #129852 - 08/19/04 12:29 AM

You might be a cracker if your afraid to experiment to improve your catch.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Marty]
      #129873 - 08/19/04 05:41 AM

You might be a cracker if you don't know how to catch a Bass.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Trouthead]
      #129897 - 08/19/04 08:40 AM

You might be a cracker if...
You catch more fish on cheap gear without snagging than the guy next to you with ALL the right gear and ALL the 'knowledge'...
You try fishing for springs IN the Fraser without a boat...

You use a net to land humpies in a record odd-yr on a sand/gravel shallow bank on the Fraser...
You get chaffed when you go fishing and don't land anything that day...
You wade out in deeeeeep water because you have waders, which 'obviously' gives you an advantage (over the guys on the bank catching fish pretty much where you're standing)
You hook the anchor rope of the next boat down river and you pull up your own, so you can drift down and retrieve your rig...

You don't fish all summer and end up posting to an internet fishing board from your foul little cubiclet with a door that passes for an office in a monolithic corporation that works your sorry butt till you beg for mercy or quit, broken and broke, or head home and work all evening on poorly planned and lamely executed renovations that suck up every last dime you never had in the first place, so you're so broke you cannot afford to pay attention then collapse into bed after reading a 6 month old STS mag, pretending you understand what they're talking about when they mention some obscure CR technique involving an origami of weights, sliders, swivels and big-a$$ treble-hooks that are close to being WMDs in some countries...


I really need a vacation....

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j~ >')))><|


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: workin4fishin]
      #129898 - 08/19/04 08:42 AM

You get a telemarketer call at work and you spend 5 minutes with him talking about the fishing in Pennsylvania...

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: workin4fishin]
      #129905 - 08/19/04 10:05 AM Attachment (0 downloads)

Cracker Dog!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: jblair]
      #129925 - 08/19/04 12:02 PM

You get mad because the Westport charter boat Skipper doesn't want you to bottomfish with your Zebco spincaster combo.

You get mad because Kmart won't warranty the yella pole you slammed in your car door.

You cast across 6 people's lines at the local combat fishing zone, get tangled up with 4 of them, reel 'em in, cut 'em off and throw the whole mess in your tackle bucket.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: elwoodp]
      #129966 - 08/19/04 03:45 PM

this stuff is funny as h*ll, gawd, i hope i'm not laughin' at myself!!!!!!!!
love the cracker dawg!!!!
awright, awright,
ya go to the hot spot and nobody's there cause it closed last week!!!

--------------------
'JUSTFISH'


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TwistAround
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #129976 - 08/19/04 04:25 PM

if the only place you can boondog and catch fish is the blue creek drift, then you might be a cracker

--------------------
nate


currently targeting inshore redfish and flounder, and fishing the surf for sharks. nightstalking crappie nightly.


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JUSTFISH
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: TwistAround]
      #129980 - 08/19/04 04:33 PM

if you showed up at cowtilla with power bait, ya might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #130007 - 08/19/04 06:06 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

If your girlfriend makes the cover of "women in Waders" you might be
On second thought.............

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Stay thirsty my friends


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JUSTFISH
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130008 - 08/19/04 06:10 PM

Aw heck,,, i might be a cracker!!!!!!

no wonder this stuff is so damn funny, i must be related to them!!!
i know i got in-laws that have been described in this thread


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #130010 - 08/19/04 06:39 PM

Your cap says "Nabisco" across the front.

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fishhog
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #130011 - 08/19/04 06:42 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

If you go to a party and your mom is drunker than you are, you just may be a cracker

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fishhog
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130012 - 08/19/04 06:45 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

I like to call this one "Motocracker"

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fishhog
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130014 - 08/19/04 06:47 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

If this is you, well...........

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fishhog
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130015 - 08/19/04 06:48 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

Or if this is you.......

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JUSTFISH
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130016 - 08/19/04 06:50 PM

MOM!!!!
DAD!!!!!
SIS!!!!
WHERE THE HELL YA BEEN!!!
DAMN,, I'M A CRACKER!!!!!

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'JUSTFISH'


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fishhog
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130018 - 08/19/04 06:54 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

If YOUR bra size is bigger than your wifes, you most certainly are a cracka

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JUSTFISH
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130022 - 08/19/04 07:02 PM

MOTOCRACKER RULES

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'JUSTFISH'


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fishhog
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #130026 - 08/19/04 07:13 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

If bath night around your house looks like this......

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fishhog
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130027 - 08/19/04 07:15 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

If you tell the cop you only had one beer.....

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fishhog
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130028 - 08/19/04 07:17 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

if this is your idea of waterskiing then......

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fishhog
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130029 - 08/19/04 07:22 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

Now if I could only teach him to walk backwards

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fishhog
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130030 - 08/19/04 07:23 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

If this is your schools idea of a field trip, then you just may be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130032 - 08/19/04 07:32 PM Attachment (0 downloads)

If the prettiest girl at your high school looks like this.....

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130033 - 08/19/04 07:37 PM

Your slayin' me dude!!!!

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #130035 - 08/19/04 07:46 PM

and finally.... If your family photo album resembles this, then you are the king of all crackers!!!!!

click on the link:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/family.html

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #130037 - 08/19/04 07:51 PM

Can you tell my girlfriend is out of town??? he he

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chinookjinxed
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: GutZ]
      #130408 - 08/21/04 09:04 PM

You might be a cracker if u break a lamiglas salmon rod on a 8lb steelhead

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long linein


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chinookjinxed
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: chinookjinxed]
      #130417 - 08/21/04 09:42 PM

if you use silver color 24lb spider wire for leader so you dont get chaffed line you might be a craka

I did that fishing tanner creek

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long linein


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: chinookjinxed]
      #130554 - 08/22/04 02:01 PM

you might be a cracker,
if you actualy price a
yella rod and reel combo at wal-mart!!!



--------------------
'JUSTFISH'


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #130645 - 08/22/04 09:36 PM

If you heard that people have been catching kings on eggs so you use a 4/0 hook with 10 Pautzke's single eggs on it. (Seen it done)

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #130668 - 08/22/04 11:54 PM

Quote:

JUSTFISH said:
you might be a cracker,
if you actualy price a
yella rod and reel combo at wal-mart!!!





You're definitely a cracker if you wait to buy it when it's on sale.

--------------------
Mike

Itinerant Philosopher and Free-lance Smart-A$$
Spiritual Guidance by Appointment


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: elwoodp]
      #130675 - 08/23/04 12:04 AM

LOL these are to good!!!!

You might be a cracker if you use a casting rod with a casting reel turned up side down like a spin rod and use it like a spin rod and hold the rod by the butt of it...ya might be a cracka

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: KingFisher85]
      #130715 - 08/23/04 09:23 AM Attachment (0 downloads)

Redneck Palm Pilot

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: jblair]
      #130718 - 08/23/04 09:25 AM Attachment (0 downloads)

What to do before the fall run comes in .....

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Black_Ghost
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: jblair]
      #130721 - 08/23/04 09:38 AM

Yep its definitely salmon season. LOL

BG

--------------------
"The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool."

Jane Wagner




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JUSTFISH
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Black_Ghost]
      #130839 - 08/23/04 06:23 PM

rod and reel combo in cracka yella---$34.98 wal-mart
already spooled and good to go

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'JUSTFISH'


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JUSTFISH
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #316808 - 01/10/08 06:25 PM

HOLY CRAP,, JUST WENT BACK OVER THIS ONE AND IT IS STILL FUNNY AS HELL,,,,,,,
IF YOU GO AND BRING NIGHTCRAWLERS,,,,

--------------------
'JUSTFISH'


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fishermanjosh
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #316907 - 01/11/08 03:23 PM

If you have to stick the rod handle in between your legs to reel it back in every drift because the rod you are using is one you see lined up along the banks at Bonneville for Sturgeon. You might be a cracker

--------------------
Sometimes, you just gotta go balls deep

Edited by fishermanjosh (01/11/08 03:23 PM)


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AKSALMONMAN
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: JUSTFISH]
      #316916 - 01/11/08 04:34 PM

You might be a cracker if you say your fly fishing, but your using eggs and a bobber.

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Whack and Stack


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Greg_G
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishermanjosh]
      #316921 - 01/11/08 05:19 PM

Do I even wanna read all this??

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WORKING ON MY PECKERWOOD IMAGE


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Greg_G
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: avidangler]
      #316924 - 01/11/08 05:34 PM

Quote:

avidangler said:
If you shop for your fishing tackle at Walmart WallyWorld ,you are definitely a cracker <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bellyup.gif" alt="" />




Hey walmart has some good stuff..

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WORKING ON MY PECKERWOOD IMAGE


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Fish Jesus
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Greg_G]
      #316941 - 01/11/08 07:17 PM

Quote:

Greg_G said:
Do I even wanna read all this??




If your asking yourself that question you might be a cracker. You might even be a larger cracker if your posting that question on the internet. You might even be a larger cracker if you take my postings to heart...


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fishhog
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Fish Jesus]
      #316971 - 01/11/08 09:46 PM

I would like to thank Josh for resurecting this thread.

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Stay thirsty my friends


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3RivrFishr
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishhog]
      #317008 - 01/12/08 08:33 AM

Quote:

fishhog said:
I would like to thank Josh for resurecting this thread.







That is one of the best threads so far...and started by Doogie!?

--------------------


Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of men, but from doing something worthwile. -Wilfred T. Grenfell
Keep fishin and keep smilin -Tooter






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Greg_G
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Fish Jesus]
      #317038 - 01/12/08 01:24 PM

Quote:

Fish Jesus said:
Quote:

Greg_G said:
Do I even wanna read all this??




If your asking yourself that question you might be a cracker. You might even be a larger cracker if your posting that question on the internet. You might even be a larger cracker if you take my postings to heart...




haha Thats great

--------------------
WORKING ON MY PECKERWOOD IMAGE


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fishermanjosh
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Greg_G]
      #317127 - 01/13/08 05:44 PM

You might be a cracker if you find a grub in your eggs. CHRIS

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Greg_G
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: fishermanjosh]
      #317139 - 01/13/08 07:25 PM

You might be a cracker if you are using a 6 foot trout rod with 2 lb. test, 2 ounces of weight, 6 inch leader, Huge A$$ corkie, and a size 10 treble hook for Chinook salmon

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WORKING ON MY PECKERWOOD IMAGE


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Luke_the_Drifter
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Greg_G]
      #317214 - 01/14/08 10:16 AM

You might be a cracker if your last name is Ritz.

--------------------
"Curiosity is natural to the soul of man and interesting objects have a powerful influence on our affections."---Daniel Boone






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Fishmaster
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Luke_the_Drifter]
      #317225 - 01/14/08 11:25 AM

You might be a cracker if at first sight of every fish you hook, you have to say " yup, another one in the mouth".

--------------------
Im just going to go fishing for a couple of hours;) or <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> = , honey. I`ll be back before you wake up.


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camodrifter
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Stew]
      #317241 - 01/14/08 02:14 PM

if you floss fish off of reeds with a fly rod and then claim that you are a better fisherman because you caught your fish on a fly rod, you are a Cracker

--------------------
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Luke_the_Drifter
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: camodrifter]
      #317249 - 01/14/08 03:18 PM

If you have to brag about how good of a fisherman you are to make yourself feel good, you are most definately a CRACKA!

--------------------
"Curiosity is natural to the soul of man and interesting objects have a powerful influence on our affections."---Daniel Boone






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jakerau
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Luke_the_Drifter]
      #317429 - 01/15/08 08:18 PM

If your screen name is BIG STICK, then you just might be a CRACKA.

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Greg_G
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: jakerau]
      #317430 - 01/15/08 08:25 PM

haha that is a good one jake...

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Stonefish
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Greg_G]
      #317436 - 01/15/08 09:03 PM

You know you are a cracker if this is how you BBQ your Chum! [img]

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Team Aire


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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Stonefish]
      #317455 - 01/16/08 07:42 AM Attachment (0 downloads)

Or you invite your buddies for a BBQ and pool party.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Trouthead]
      #317456 - 01/16/08 07:43 AM Attachment (0 downloads)

Or if this is your girlfriend.

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Trouthead

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Luke_the_Drifter
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Trouthead]
      #317461 - 01/16/08 09:03 AM

Quote:

Trouthead said:
Or if this is your girlfriend.




If she'd just clean that mustard spunk off her body, she be pretty hot !



--------------------
"Curiosity is natural to the soul of man and interesting objects have a powerful influence on our affections."---Daniel Boone






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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Luke_the_Drifter]
      #317482 - 01/16/08 02:34 PM

you are a cracka if you think hatchery fish have full dorsals

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<---- "Jihad this!"
Team 10%
Semper fi
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Tony1831]
      #317483 - 01/16/08 02:37 PM

If you clip any fins when you catch fish, you might be a cracker

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: bacota]
      #317532 - 01/17/08 12:45 AM

If you show up to fish with a 6 foot sturgeon rod that is white or yellow and there is a reel with a spool the size of a coffee can filled with braided line on it, you just might be a cracker.

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: ihookem75]
      #318248 - 01/23/08 10:27 AM

If you think that 2 pound jack in the skok is so importantant to land you jump in the hole to get the fish around a tree on the bank you just might be a cracker.

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CastawayChris
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: micropterus101]
      #318297 - 01/23/08 06:38 PM

I spent months away from the board and this is the first thing i read and proceed to read for nine pages. Some funny ass sh!t! MY TURN.

If you fall out of a boat and your a fishing guide, you ARE a cracker!

If you use a 10ft. surf rod for halibut, you are a cracker.

If you right STS articles on chum fishing and throw rods at fish, you are a cracker!

If you show up to a tilla with no beer, you are a cracker.

If you cast and reel drift gear you are a cracker!

If you fish salmon or steelhead with a six foot spinning rod and a bass plug you are a cracker!

If you snag your gear up in a tree and proceed to untangle it for an hour and let your buddy catch three fish in front of you, you are a cracker!

--------------------

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: CastawayChris]
      #318324 - 01/24/08 03:49 AM

If you spent months away from the board and this is the first post you read, you might be a cracker.

--------------------
Trouthead

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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: Trouthead]
      #318346 - 01/24/08 11:00 AM

If you yell fish on!, when you hook a 12in steelhead!

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Dances
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Re: How to tell if you are a cracker new [Re: hollywood10s]
      #318696 - 01/27/08 08:30 PM

Holly [**whoops**] this thread is damn near 4 years old looks like there are new crackers born every day!!!!!!!! And some just keep coming back around for more punishment!!!!!

You might be a cracker if you get your ass handed to you on the river by six girls and proceed not to show up next year for a rematch!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dances

--------------------
Team Jackson Baldwin
Hells Canyon Sport Fishing


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