stlhdh2o
Offline
Chromer
Profile Status:
Reged: 05/03/02
Posts: 810
Loc: Pugetropolis
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...I'm loud. Not only am I loud but just when you think I've said the most inane thing in the whole world I say something else.
...I'll outfish you and then gloat about it smugly. You'll want to punch me in the face but can't because I'm twice your size.
...you'll outfish me but I will blame you and your early morning 'dawdling' for keeping us from making it to the hole at first light. No matter how wrong I am it will still be your fault.
...I'll tell you how to row your own boat all day long....I will have done everything differently than you and I will make it clear that your poor oarsmenship cost us a multiple hook-up day...
...I'll tell you where the fish are holding in the river even though I've stood in one spot all day long and haven't caught so much as a whitefish. The fish are always holding where I am not...
...I eat beans. A lot of beans...occasionally I'll 'spice it up' with some freeze dried foods, the bears wouldn't even be able to stand my stench....
...after every cast I light another smoke, but only when the wind is blowing it right in your face...
... after I catch a fish I indulge...but will never pass it to you...
...I'll demand that you sprint full tilt down boulder sized, silt covered gravel to get a picture of my four pound Dolly but will be far more interested in not catching fish when it comes time for me to walk ten feet to snap a picture of your twenty pound trophy....
..I'll hand you a camera you've never touched before you in your life and expect a perfect picture. If I don't get it I'll remind you about it for at least three years....
...I'll want to drive four hours each way to fish for three hours and return home. On the way we'll take a shortcut but miss the turn because I am too busy air drumming to something I insisted you'd like but in reality find nauseating...
...I'll catch boots all day long and say 'nice fish' after calling the chromer you just released a boot...
...I'll complain about the declining native run when I have a dead fish on the bank. If someone questions me about it I'll mention that I'm armed....
...I'll insist that we take my truck even though the heater doesn't work, the CD player was stolen and the exhaust leak I've been going to fix for five years blows directly into the cab...
...I'll laugh at my own jokes all day long but say 'huh' every time you say anything...
...I'll forget to mention my 100 pound dog but expect you to row his hyperactive ass twelve miles during spring flows anyway...
...I'll complain about all the people the internet has attracted to my favorite spot but leave my Vibrax packages strewn from one end of the gravel bar to the other...
...I'll stand neck deep, in the middle of the traveling lane to cast to where the fish aren't. If you ask me to move I'll be a dick about it...
...we'll get blown out on a trip we've been planning for five years but insist that there is a bright side...
....I will always be ready two hours after I say I am going to be ready...
...I will post about your failings on the internet, perhaps even mentioning your name and home number, so that every idiot with a computer can tell you how you wrong you are...even though you were fishing when they were posting...
![[Big Grin]](images/icons/grin.gif)
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\m/
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Snagly
Offline
3-Salt orthodontist
Profile Status:
Reged: 08/08/00
Posts: 1440
Loc: Singapore, Bangalore, Sri Lank...
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If we didn't know ya' better, I don't think even your dog would go fishing with you after that description!
While you're at it:
a) Eat the best parts of my lunch when my pack is on the bank and I'm up or downstream. (Note to Board: I did this to Marty on our BC trip, but I swear it was an accident. Both times ![[Wink]](images/icons/wink.gif) !)
b) After you hook up, step back in the run down at the Front of the Bus . . . ![[Mad]](images/icons/mad.gif)
c) After I catch a fish I'm really, really dying to photograph, make yourself unavailable or if you do decide to meander over walk so slow that the fish escapes before you get there. ![[Bonk]](graemlins/bellyup.gif)
* * * * *
But don't ever worry about getting me mad if you're later than 15 minutes. Hasta luego, hombre
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There's two types of anglers who fish fall steelhead on the Skeena and its tribs: thems thats got a spoon tied on, and thems that thinks that they should be usin' a spoon.
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Last Cast
Offline
steelie
Profile Status:
Reged: 11/07/01
Posts: 181
Loc: Nearestfishinghole
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That's pretty tame, how long do you have to fish and know someone before you bring out the big guns?
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Riptide
Offline
steelie
Profile Status:
Reged: 09/03/01
Posts: 190
Loc: Port Angeles
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And when you get out on the bank to take a leak I’ll row away into the sunset. Toss you a quarter for the bus and show you my butt as a parting gesture.
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NO LOW HOLES!!!
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DanS
Offline
Dawg
Profile Status:
Reged: 05/28/00
Posts: 1180
Loc: Olympia, WA
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Man, h2o, you're pretty harsh.
Actually it sound a lot like a day with me and the guy I've been fishing with since we were kids.
"Get your friggin' stinkin' mitts out my lunch, Bungholio"
"You're not gonna eat all that food."
"So what if I dont, dumbas$? Pack your own damn lunch"
"You're just a a$$hole, Danny."
Of course, I take it easy on the new guys for a few trips until they're ready for some abuse, too.
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Dude......where's your rod??
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chongo469
Offline
Cap'n Cracker
Profile Status:
Reged: 11/24/02
Posts: 863
Loc: Everett,Wa
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how about if you dont row to the shore "I WILL WEE IN YOUR WILLY" or to really make them happy just drop fresh roe in their starbucks.......boy im a jerk.....lol
[ 12-05-2002, 05:00 PM: Message edited by: chongo469 ]
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When someone offers to show you one of there zippers.....make sure there talking about fishing
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cupo
Offline
cookin' reels and killin' wading boots
Profile Status:
Reged: 12/26/01
Posts: 2334
Loc: speeding on 530
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Hmmmm. H2O, do you call yourself "the gawdess" too?
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This can't be healthy. All this fishing is really messing with my head.
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diana
Offline
Manta Ray
Profile Status:
Reged: 01/29/02
Posts: 362
Loc: Port Angeles, WA
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Jay-sus.....so you finally found your way home, got a job and bought a computer, eh?
And I really thought I'd gotten rid of you on that river in '85. How'd you make it to shore with all those rocks in your waders?
You forgot to mention that in 2 years of fishing in MY boat, you never once offered to buy the gas. Or replace all my gear that you snagged up and busted off.
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I fish, therefore I am
... not here.
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