RogueRiver
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steelie
Profile Status:
Reged: 08/01/03
Posts: 150
Loc: Rogue River, Or
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I think this is the funniest thread I have ever read. I think you guys got them all. The only one you missed might be:
You walk up to a prime piece of holding water and cast a no more than twice. Move up river and repeat.
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Black_Ghost
Offline
Thick Tail
Profile Status:
Reged: 06/13/03
Posts: 5185
Loc: Western GLs
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True cracker story: First names were changed to protect their privacy. LOL
From the Arkansas Democrat Gazette:
Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Cletus Johnson, 33, of Des Arc and Clem
Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip.
On an overcast Sunday night, Cletus's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Clem noticed that the 22-caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. After inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded toward the White River Bridge.
After traveling about 20 miles and Just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Cletus in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply right exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Cletus suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Clem sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and
released.
"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Cletus shot
his balls off or we might both be dead" stated Clem.
"I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the
world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Clitoris, Cletus’s wife,
asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get
them from the truck. (Way to go, Clitoris.)
BG
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"The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool."
Jane Wagner
Edited by Black_Ghost (11/12/03 10:09 AM)
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Black_Ghost
Offline
Thick Tail
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Reged: 06/13/03
Posts: 5185
Loc: Western GLs
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fyi
Michigan sportsman site has some good Cletus and Clem stories from the book "The Fish of the Thousand Casts". Yes here in the Gls we have the same issue and sense of humor. Good winter reading, something for steelhead and deer camps around the camp fire. Check it out.
I will never be seen with a yellow rod in michigan. LOL
BG
http://www.michigan-sportsman.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=22940&highlight=cletus
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"The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool."
Jane Wagner
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petrel
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4 salt
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Reged: 08/25/03
Posts: 36
Loc: Spanaway, WA
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If you use your wheels as a billboard.
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Dances
Offline
Asylum Escapee
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Reged: 04/22/02
Posts: 2109
Loc: last seen in a straight jacket
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ok so you guys are talkin about me cuz I do all of these things so now I know for sure I am a cracker 
Dances
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Team Jackson Baldwin
Hells Canyon Sport Fishing
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Marty
Offline
redneck yachter
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Reged: 07/17/00
Posts: 19657
Loc: Olympic Peninsula
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Your a cracker if I can out fish you  Takes one to know one 
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Marty
Got Your Steelheader.net stickers?
Pay it forward
Catching is a skilled art built on fishing experiences
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KNOPHISH
Offline
chum
Profile Status:
Reged: 07/02/02
Posts: 56
Loc: Auburn
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If you get to the river, wade out to your waist & cast to the other side when you are standing right on the fish ya might be a cracka.
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Dances
Offline
Asylum Escapee
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Reged: 04/22/02
Posts: 2109
Loc: last seen in a straight jacket
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You might be a cracker if you go out fishing with marty and he out fishes you even with his yellow pole and upside down reel.
Dances
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Team Jackson Baldwin
Hells Canyon Sport Fishing
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cupo
Offline
cookin' reels and killin' wading boots
Profile Status:
Reged: 12/26/01
Posts: 2334
Loc: speeding on 530
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If you get all your fishing tips from the guy at the walmart sporting goods counter...
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This can't be healthy. All this fishing is really messing with my head.
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Brewer
Offline
Then They Turned @ Last To Me, We Shall Call You Brewer, The Slayer Of Salmons You Shall Be'
Profile Status:
Reged: 12/01/02
Posts: 3798
Loc: The Mass Production Zone.
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if your to proud or hoety toety to offer a beer to all the brewer clones across the u s of a, then you are a crakaw! brewer thanks all of yous who have come over to us and teached us a thang or two. next time we'll offer a tug from our md20/20 or the poncho villa clear of course, for thanks.
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Brewer's reel cleaning service is up and rolling. Contact me through PM for info and address.
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GutZ
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Native Slab
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Reged: 01/25/01
Posts: 1635
Loc: All over town
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Post deleted by GutZ
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It's good to have friends.
It's better to have friends with boats!
**GutZ**
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Born2Bonk
Offline
Chromer
Profile Status:
Reged: 08/06/01
Posts: 549
Loc: Seattle
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If you only fish for salmon. Nope that don't work, that makes you a snagger? Hell No.
Thinking back to my younger daze..........nope that didn't work. Can't remember.
How about if you plan your fishing trips (to small streams)on what you read on the web the day before!
DUDE, TOKUL WAS SMOKIN THIS MORNING.
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Killins my business and business is goood.
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Half buzzed is just a waste of money.
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"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew 4:19, New Internation Version
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Dogfish
Offline
Ultimate Egg Whore
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Reged: 01/03/02
Posts: 4237
Loc: McCleary, WA
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If you tie your leaders using an improved cinch knot, you might be a cracker.
If you use High Vis line for leader material, you might be a cracker. (Actually found one today)
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"Give me the anger, fish! Give me the anger!"
Be like Big Stick!
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Desertdog
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Road Warrior
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Reged: 11/11/00
Posts: 2468
Loc: Nevada??
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I was going to post that one Andy.
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Grandpa to 9 boys 8 girls and 1 angel
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christopher
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chum
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Reged: 02/12/02
Posts: 65
Loc: washington
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If you carry green paint to cover the fact you cut off the adipose fin.
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Neurosis
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Town Alchoholic
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Reged: 10/29/02
Posts: 1490
Loc: Seattle
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Better yet, when you have to photoshop the fin off of every photo.
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Dances
Offline
Asylum Escapee
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Reged: 04/22/02
Posts: 2109
Loc: last seen in a straight jacket
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hey I just like to use a little white out before I scan the picture and say that there was some light reflecting off the fin
Dances
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Team Jackson Baldwin
Hells Canyon Sport Fishing
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Neurosis
Offline
Town Alchoholic
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Reged: 10/29/02
Posts: 1490
Loc: Seattle
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Then are you a "real" cracker when you use the whitout on the fish itself instead of the photo?
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GutZ
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Native Slab
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Reged: 01/25/01
Posts: 1635
Loc: All over town
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I just use the white out on my monitor when I look at the pictures.
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It's good to have friends.
It's better to have friends with boats!
**GutZ**
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Trouthead
Online!
Subject of the Puritan Rep. of Washington
Profile Status:
Reged: 09/17/02
Posts: 4765
Loc: Lost
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Wait a minute. My avator would be to ugly for young tender eyes. Also, the girls in waders are not action shots? That ruins my fantasies. 
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Trouthead
ABU/Ambassaduer Rest Home - Maître d' (New residents welcome)
C.A.S.T. volunteer, supporter and advocate
http://www.castforkids.org/
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RockHopper
Offline
king
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Reged: 09/16/03
Posts: 147
Loc: snohomish, wa
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Umm, no, they are real action shots - I was kidding... Actually I ran into one of them last year while winter steelheading. Just about poked my eye out...
Edited by RockHopper (11/19/03 11:46 AM)
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Fish Jesus
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Pink Worminator
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Reged: 04/20/02
Posts: 5316
Loc: your river
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Black_Ghost
Offline
Thick Tail
Profile Status:
Reged: 06/13/03
Posts: 5185
Loc: Western GLs
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If you measure your fish like this ? LOL
http://www.steelheadsite.com/reports/michigan/messages/20442.html
In Gls cracker is AKA "red neck"
BG
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"The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool."
Jane Wagner
Edited by Black_Ghost (12/12/03 04:57 AM)
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micropterus101
Offline
Incurable Fish virus.
Profile Status:
Reged: 11/18/02
Posts: 600
Loc: Port Orchard
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You might be a cracker if if bobber and jig fishing involves the use of bouy ten for a float and a thin wired uncle walts crappie jig with 20 pound test on your yellow danielson trout rod and your 20 year old shakspeare closed face real.
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XXX fish porn Naked-fish-Pics.com
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micropterus101
Offline
Incurable Fish virus.
Profile Status:
Reged: 11/18/02
Posts: 600
Loc: Port Orchard
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you might be a cracker if your home brew scent involves vasiline,herring and your Moms blender!
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XXX fish porn Naked-fish-Pics.com
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micropterus101
Offline
Incurable Fish virus.
Profile Status:
Reged: 11/18/02
Posts: 600
Loc: Port Orchard
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you might be a cracker if you finnally catch a steelhead, put it in a black plastic bag ,store it in the trunk and fish for 5 hours trying to get another one on a hot day.
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XXX fish porn Naked-fish-Pics.com
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micropterus101
Offline
Incurable Fish virus.
Profile Status:
Reged: 11/18/02
Posts: 600
Loc: Port Orchard
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you might be a cracker if you come home from fishing blue creek (the creek) with your limit and brag about how great the fish were hitting your 1/2 ounce spoon.
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XXX fish porn Naked-fish-Pics.com
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Brewer
Offline
Then They Turned @ Last To Me, We Shall Call You Brewer, The Slayer Of Salmons You Shall Be'
Profile Status:
Reged: 12/01/02
Posts: 3798
Loc: The Mass Production Zone.
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brewer was out last week and found a total cracker, he had all symptoms but seemed to look healthy. i had to aproach and ask him if his name was brewer? he said to me that i was the second person to ask him that. made brewers day...
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Brewer's reel cleaning service is up and rolling. Contact me through PM for info and address.
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Chromeo
Offline
Makin' Old Men Mad!
Profile Status:
Reged: 02/04/02
Posts: 1134
Loc: Kenmore WA, USA
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If your name is Ken from Curtis County Florida, your probably a cracker.
Quotes from Ken's Web Page :
"Most of my rod and reel combinations cost less than $50.00 and were bought out of department stores as a set, including the line."
"I'm convinced that the better quality reels are have a better drag system. The drag is smoother and don't jerk as the line is pulled off."
"They keep saying something like, "dad, we don't catch any fish when we go fishing."'
Hey I wonder if Woodsy Wayne fishes with this guy down there?
Chromeo
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Mexican Standoff Prostaff
Team 3 piece
Windshield Wipers Prostaff
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rtlees
Offline
Steel
Profile Status:
Reged: 05/27/03
Posts: 1206
Loc: Washougal WA, USA
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If your avatar starts with THE.
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RTLEES
Wannabe Fisherman
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